I Recently, I felt a brief sense of relief. After what felt like a long time, adults are starting to rise up against the oppression of smartphones and the negative effects it has on young children.
In Hertfordshire, where I live, hundreds of parents have signed a Parental Agreement as part of the Free Childhood Smartphone Campaign, pledging not to buy their children a smartphone until they are 14. I am doing it.
Research by Ofcom earlier this year revealed that 25 per cent of three to four year olds own a smartphone and 50 per cent of children under 13 use social media. And just today, more than a dozen states and the District of Columbia filed a lawsuit against TikTok, a “dopamine-inducing” short-form video platform for “adverse mental health effects on its users.”
Is it any wonder that kids start school and try to swipe through books, and that social media teaches them new words better than dictionaries?Hello, I’m Meow.
Even though many people in my class had smartphones in elementary school, I didn’t allow my children to have one until high school. My two sons were 13 years old and my daughter was 11. The difference in getting a cell phone a little earlier than that is obvious.
Their eldest sons tended to bear the brunt of harsher regimes. We didn’t give him a smartphone at first, we gave him a small brick. After realizing that this not only involved social death, but also intense frustration with the old-fashioned method of pressing a number key and simply answering “yes” or “no.” We gave him one of our smartphones that we had thrown away when we got the phone. Benefit from free upgrades.
The children have never had a brand new cell phone. They own our older models and admit they have everything they need, even if the battery dies quickly. Sadly, they’re also aware that brandishing the latest Apple iteration makes them an easy target for theft.
It’s interesting to see schools take the lead. My son’s school recently introduced Yondr phone lock pouches. At the first day of school, all students in grades 1 through 5 put their cell phones in their pouches and lock them on pedestals installed at the school. Come back and unlock it at the end of the day.
This also means that fifth grade students who leave the site for lunch and go into town will have to pay by cash or bank card. I think this is a bit harsh for my son, who almost died in the sixth form. This is strict and another matter for staff to manage, but at least they don’t have to manage interruptions in phone use during lessons.
Research shows that student engagement increases, academic success increases, and genuine social interaction occurs during recess. As parents, we are charged for the pouch (approximately £25) and if we do not wish to purchase the pouch, we are not allowed to bring our phones into school at all. If parents need to contact their child, they can still leave a message at the school reception. In my opinion, this frees children from nagging and disturbing messages from their parents.
At my daughter’s school, cell phones are supposed to be turned off and kept in lockers during class, but I suspect they secretly check them during recess and lunch.
I’m impressed that schools are taking this issue seriously, but it won’t mean much if we as parents don’t work together. As parents increasingly avoid difficult conversations and conflict, it feels like they’re becoming increasingly reliant on schools to do it all: take away their phones and bring in speakers to talk about porn and social media. .
It’s not easy. I have many friends who have tried to set boundaries around phone use and received a level of outrage from their kids that I have never seen before.
My rule is never to make phone calls when I’m at the table, in a restaurant, or at work. But if you struggle to create boundaries for yourself, how can you manage them effectively?
One night, my 14-year-old daughter came into my bedroom. “Don’t forget to put your phone downstairs before you go to bed,” I said, grabbing my phone from my bed. I have never forgotten that incredible hypocrisy.
Once upon a time we worried that our children would eat too many sweets and develop the accompanying sugar addiction (though that concern still exists), The tiny rectangles are incredibly addictive and give kids a jolt of dopamine.
Inevitably, the pandemic has made everyone even more reliant on technology, and even many adults admit that it has been difficult to interact in person again. But at least we learned those skills ourselves as children. Many children do not have the opportunity to get off the starting block.
I see with my own eyes children who cannot look you in the eye or have a basic conversation. When a friend arrives home, it’s common to send a text message rather than ringing the bell and risking interaction with an adult. I was surprised when I suggested to one of them that she call her driving instructor to discuss their availability. “what? phone they? “
As adults, we are similarly addicted to smartphones, but at least our brains had a chance to develop before they arrived.
We moan about it, but it’s not the kids’ fault. We need to help them because we did this to them. Parent is not just a noun. It’s also a verb.
